Healing Begins with Awareness
Coping With Abuse
If every time you look at past memories, and you have an inkling that something isn’t quite right, and you feel as if something terrible lies beneath the surface, remind yourself that the past is done and you’re no longer tethered to it. If you recall uncomfortable feelings each time you think of childhood events, the past needs to be explored. You need to connect to the truth of what happened. If you can’t seem to reach your goals, if you have a tendency to self-sabotage your efforts or let others sabotage them, if you constantly attract drama, trauma, and/or chaos, you may need to see if you’ve been suffering the long-term effects of sexual abuse.
If you know without any doubt that abuse, especially one of a sexual nature occurred in your life, it’s time to take a look at the long term effects and see if you have been needlessly suffering. You might not know how these behaviors started, but at one time you may have needed certain behaviors, often self-destructive, to help you get through life, to coexist with other people, maybe to endure at school or in the workplace. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that our behavior is a result of abuse. (Go to the contact page to request a free list of many of the long-term effects of sexual abuse.)
You could have developed some beneficial behaviors due to abuse, but most are probably detrimental. You’ve had to do what was necessary to survive the traumatic effects, but now those patterns may not be serving you as well as you would like. What if you found a better coping method or two? Something that allows you to build your self-esteem (how you feel about yourself as a person) and your self-image (how you feel about your body—your physical self)? What if you found a way to find genuine happiness, overcome just about every fear, and let go of anger and bitterness at feeling betrayed, especially by those who should have had your best interest at heart?
“No amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good. I didn't even know what was going on inside of me, so how could I have explained it to them?”
― Sierra D. Waters, Debbie.
some silence is good. reflection, introspection & meditaton are all roads of thought that will lead you on a healing journey and to self-discovery. but keeping secrets buried…not so much.
“…Silence. It was all I knew. Keep quiet. Pretend nothing had happened, that nothing was wrong. And look how well that was turning out.”
― J. Lynn, Wait for You
Betrayal blocks the way to trust.
You trusted someone who should have had your best interest at heart. You believed a parent, sibling, relative, neighbor or doctor would never have done such a thing to you, to your body. Yet it happened. It left you feeling confused, saddened, ashamed, or angry. Some of us used our anger and fought for ourselves, but most of us felt powerless to do anything, and because of our shock and inexperience, we didn’t even know what we could have done. We felt alone and afraid to trust anyone. We behaved in a way that made us feel powerful, pretending that the past or how people treated us didn’t matter.
Fear—your greatest detriment.
Fear has kept you from living, doing, celebrating, accomplishing, achieving, earning, saving, loving, trusting, choosing, enjoying, and experiencing life in a way that brings absolute joy. Fear has put limits on your thoughts, ideas, hopes and beliefs when you are, in reality, a limitless creative being capable of making any dream come true. Take a look at what behavior you’d like to change, even if you’ve been doing certain things for a very long time. A desire for change is the first step in creating the change, and it’s completely possible!
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
—Maya Angelou